(1) "I'm sorry you feel hurt by what I've done." (This is an attempt at an emotional salve, but it's obvious you don't want to put any medicine in the wound."
(2) "I apologize for what I did, but you also need to apologize to me for what you've done." (That's not giving an apology, that's asking for one.)
Proper apologies have three parts:
1. What I did wrong
2. I feel badly that I hurt you.
3. How do I make this better?
Some people may take advantage of you when answering question three. But most people will be genuinely appreciative of your make-good efforts. They may tell you how to make it better in some calm, easy way. And often, they'll work harder to help make things better themselves.
If other people owe you an apology, and your words of apology to them are proper and heartfelt, you still may not hear from them for a while. After all, what are the odds that they get to the right emotional place to apologize at that exact moment you do? So just be patient. Your patience will be both appreciated and rewarded.
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